You Have No Idea What A Suicidal Person "Looks" Like by Kinyatta E. Gray
Admittedly this is a dark topic. However, I must share what I have learned throughout my life to help others.
This topic is definitely not the most talked about in the black communities, but I'm talking about it.
I have heard the comment far too many times that "he/she doesn't look suicidal". Let's think for a minute. Exactly what does a suicidal person look like? What image do you see? Now cancel that.
There is no one look for a suicidal person. People who have committed suicide or have suicidal thoughts range in age, race, status, and gender. Celebrities commit suicide. Urban and Suburban moms commit suicide. People who never had suicidal thoughts and experienced a traumatic event commit suicide.
So please cancel the idea that you know what a suicidal person looks like.
After my mom passed away suddenly and unexpectedly in 2018, I went into a completely dark mental state. The only person that knew just how badly I had descended into the black abyss was my loving and supportive spouse Ju.
The reason for this is because I've always maintained a level of poise, professionalism, privacy, and class. Therefore, no matter how I was feeling on the inside - it didn't project outward to people outside of my home.
Further, people have to consistently call and check up on their grieving friends weeks/months/years after the funeral. I recently wrote an article on how to support your grieving friends.
People with suicidal thoughts can function just like a person suffering from any other number of issues that can go unnoticed such as drug abuse, alcoholism, and gambling issues. Sometimes, you may not even know a person is suffering until it's too late.
Life without my mom seemed incomprehensible mixed with disturbing messages my mind was sending me in my distressed emotional state.
What I came to learn about myself is that I wanted to exist in an alternative state where I didn't have to feel the pain of losing her.
One time a friend said to me, "I knew you were sad, but not that sad" in response to learning that I was in a deep sunken place. To this day I'm baffled by that because I must have projected such strength that the friend only assumed I was feeling a moderate level of grief.
This is why you need to go the extra mile and walk a little closer with your friends when they are grieving. The truth comes out when you show up in person to extend your hand of support.
In my book 30 Days, I share in graphic detail the descent of my emotional state after losing my mom and the steps I took to fight my way back.
Not only that, but suicide is also a theme threaded throughout my other two books Passing As Straight and From Section 8 To CEO because suicide is a major public health concern.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, Suicide is among the leading causes of death in the United States.
Based on recent nationwide surveys, suicide in some populations is on the rise.
Suicide is defined as death caused by self-directed injurious behavior with intent to die as a result of the behavior.
A suicide attempt is a non-fatal, self-directed, potentially injurious behavior with intent to die as a result of the behavior. A suicide attempt might not result in injury.
Suicidal ideation refers to thinking about, considering, or planning suicide. For these reasons, I have used my books to promote suicide awareness.
Don't ever make the mistake of assuming that you know what a suicidal person looks like - you will surely discount someone who may be in dire need of your help.
Make sure that if you have a grieving friend that you love and care about -- be consistent with your love and support no matter how long it takes.
One day it may be you grieving or even suicidal and you'd want someone to support you. You will never know the depth of one’s pain, until you experience the same loss. Don’t assume you know how much pain a person ought to feel or the length of time they should feel it after a traumatic loss
If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, please reach out to:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
A Mental Health Provider
A Spouse or Trusted Friend
Trusted Clergy
Kinyatta E. Gray is a short-winded lifestyle blogger and best-selling author who wrote and released her first book in October 2019 about the loss of her mother. Kinyatta's goal is to spread awareness about grief and loss, following one's inner voice and sharing messages of love, peace, hope, and light.
Kinyatta's website: kinyattagray.com Instagram: @kinyattagraytheauthor
DISCLAIMER
Kinyatta Gray is not a mental health professional and is sharing her personal experience. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please refer to the contact numbers above or search for help in your community.
