Get To Know The Illustrious Co-Author of Passing As "Straight" ... "Bette Porter"

I have to admit that this is literally the kind of co-author I dreamed of. She has an aspect of her life hidden so that she can blend into society and live a life free of judgment and prejudice and move about in her small town with the freedoms and flexibility afforded to everyone else — who presumably are living life in the manner that society deems acceptable.

There’s just one thing, one major thing….she’s functioning as an esteemed church leader and community advocate unscathed because she’s passing as "straight". She already knows that if she chose to live in any other manner in her small town and community — she’d be an outcast.

Being an outcast is not an option at this point and time in her life. Throw in being an upstanding church leader with a prominent career — the stakes are even higher.

Therefore, participating in this project as a co-author is somewhat of a release and a way to explain to the world the complexities that women face when they have to decide how to live their lives with the women they love.

I had a rare opportunity to pry into “Bette Porter’s" life, and I can tell you I was hanging to her every word, wanting more…here are snippets of our mystifying interview.

Kinyatta: It’s such a pleasure to interview you for my blog! Tell my readers your name and a little bit about yourself.

Bette Porter: My name is Bette Porter. Well, that’s not my birth name. I’ve decided to remain anonymous so I’m using the name of one my favorite TV characters. I’m a 30 something-year-old and live in a small town in Texas. I’m very passionate about the work I do in my community with my church, my sorority, and the local college. In my spare time, I enjoy spending time with my nieces and nephews.

Kinyatta: What made you decide that now is the time to tell your story in the book “Passing As Straight”?

Bette Porter: I’ve been battling with telling my story and living freely since I was 15. I’m choosing to tell this story now in hopes that it helps someone else. Although I’m still very private about my life, I admire those who can live freely and proudly. Something I wish I had a little more courage to do. So in telling my story, I’m hoping that some young person gets the courage to do what I’m still afraid of.

Kinyatta: What is the hardest thing that people “passing as straight” have to deal with in life?

Bette Porter: The hardest thing that I have to deal with is the constant questioning, rumors, and assumptions.

“Why aren’t you married yet?”

“You’re too beautiful to be single.”

“Is she gay?”

“She can’t be gay and be a minister.”

Because of my career and community involvement, I hear this DAILY!

Kinyatta: What advice do you have to offer to someone passing as straight who wants to live their life openly because they are tired of hiding /concealing their life and love of their life?

Bette Porter: My advice would be to take control of your life. Don’t allow others or situations to hold you hostage. This is the only life you’ll have. You have to live it for yourself; not for anyone else.

I can’t wait until Bette Porter’s chapter is released in our book Passing As Straight in March 2020.

Since Bette Porter has decided to remain anonymous, I will not be providing her social media handles, but I invite you to look out for her chapter in our book, and to always be mindful in your daily interactions with both women and men, you never know who’s simply passing as straight.